I’ve heard it told that you’ll never be happy until you embrace who you really are.
Then I watched a starfire begin to glow in the nighttime sky. “Dear starfire, why do you begin to glow?”
I listened to a mother, a stranger, tell her story. “So I told my son to not be afraid to go down to the pond. We’re going to have a lovely picnic down there. He was petrified and he started to cry. I told him that it will be okay. Mommy’s here and won’t let anything happen to you. Then, when my back was turned he fell into the water. I gasped. He screamed. I pulled him out. I didn’t now what else to do. So, i told him over and over that he didn’t fall into the water. It took me all afternoon to convince him. The power of a mom is truly amazing.”
I listened to the crowd laugh and cheer at this mother’s ingenuity.
I became sick.
Then I watched the starfire pulsate in the nighttime sky. “Dear starfire, why do I feel like you are following me?”
I relived a horrid moment with my adult child. I heard him say, “I hate your stupid messages. I don’t want to hear about how God is such a big part of your life. At least your not trying to force your God on me. But, your God hates me and I don’t want to hear about Him any more. Stop talking to me.”
That was the last I would hear from my own flesh and blood for a long, long time.
Then I watched the starfire burn in the nighttime sky. “Dear starfire, you burn so bright. Even in the middle of the dark, dark night, you light my path. For that, I thank you.”
Thought after thought surrounded me. Fear after fear assaulted me. Depression and despondency hugged me tight. “I am so sick of being depressed and longing for a real life. The throbbing headaches and the endless pain is wearing me out. I don’t know where to turn. I am stupid. No one likes me. I can’t do anything right.” My thoughts grew more and more into a bath of darkness.
Then the starfire burned so bright I thought that it might explode. “Dear starfire, I feel your warmth. I can hear your voice speaking to me now. “Let your negative thoughts go. They’re all lies. You know who you are.”
When I stopped thinking and I started to just back in the warmth, I felt the arms of Jesus firmly wrapped around me. “Dear child, I am a starfire in your life. I will always shed light onto your next step. I will never let you go. I will keep you warm through my love. In my hands I hold endless blessings for you. Think on me and follow my wisdom. That’s where true happiness lies.”
My starfire has never lied to me.