John sat down quietly at the empty desk. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I can fill my life with listening to music. I can fill my life with movies or social media. Yet, to fill my life with things is to fill it with nothingness. To buy things that look good in the house, what’s the point? Something is missing.
John looked at the elegant grandfather clock. He listened to the methodical ticking. I finally quieted all the noise in my life down: the anger at the traffic, the yelling of my boss, the storytelling, the teaching, the running from appointment to appointment, the endless business dinners and traveling. I un-plugged. Now, what’s left? nothing!
John picked up the doctor’s report. Will my kids finally talk with me when I’m six feet under? will my wife find someone who can do better at meeting her needs? God, I hope so. Wow. A week ago I had all the time in the world. Now, I have a number – six months.
John folded up the report and put it in a blank envelope and hid it in his backpack. I can’t fight this one, God. Here’s the kid who had all the potential. Here’s the kid who was supposed to have it all. What have I got? nothing!
John picked up a newspaper and turned to the obituaries. What will they say about me? I wonder. Friends? Family? Maybe even the kids will chime in.
I walked into John’s office and put a hand on his shoulder. “John, it has to be rough. And no, I didn’t tell anyone. I do appreciate you calling me.”
John looked up at me with pleading eyes. “Please tell me this is a joke.”to help the kids.
“John, every single one of us will take our turn in your chair. No exceptions. But John, your missing the point. Really, you are. You see, you let Jesus run your life. And, with that deal comes a little caveat – death can’t beat you. Take comfort in the thought that you’ve already won. And, you helped a lot of other people win. Too many people forget that. What’s worse, that thought is where our hope and joy come from.”
John smiled – a big enough smile to reach heaven. “Thank you for the bible God. And letting me know again and again over all these years that you have already cared for me. Thanks for letting go on those mission trips to Haiti to help the kids. Thanks for letting me teach bible school. Thanks for letting me see the hope in all of those eyes when I found them jobs, and help ed them to get their dignity back. God, it’s too easy to forget to be thankful. But, thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting me see how full my life really is.”
Photo credit: Wooden desk by Littleput.com