With razor in hand and a shaving cream can
I glare into the looking glass.
“You month old growth, you’ve met your match.
The time is now to take you out.
Well horror and tripe and guttersnipe’s tales
where did this gray hair come from?”
“It honors me
to say to you
I welcome you to
the club, ace.”
“Your words confuse. I find them lacking.
The vows you spoke all all quite clear.
You see this horror upon my face.
I do not hear your required support.
The woman I married would never do that.
I desperately need her help right now.”
“It’s not last night.
It’s not the bar.
I’m not the blond
you were flirting with.”
“How can you possibly doubt my faith?
My love shines bright directly at you.
Hold on one moment. You wait right there.
The words you speak, they make no sense.
Who is this blond? What is her name?
What bar are you referring to?”
“You’re getting old.
You don’t remember.
Don’t hurt yourself.”
“We did not even go out last night!
We did not travel the town at all.
There was no blond! There was no bar!
We ate some steaks from the BBQ grill.
We drank some wine that tasted great.
We watched some movies. It was a thrill!”
“You are so old.
It is so sad.
I’ll get the walker
from the garage outside.”
I shook my head from side to side
sending shaving cream all over the room.
“I am not old. My memory’s fine.
No walker exists in the garage outside.
I do not see your required support.
I’m having a real crisis here!”
She flicked her hair like she’s always done
and smiled her own little prankish smile.
A hidden hose I suddenly saw.
She drenched me completely with ice cold water.
“You love me now
and I know you do!
You know with me
you’ll never be bored!”
And off she ran.
I told my friends about her prank.
I laughed and laughed and I laughed some more.
They thought my marriage did smell of death.
I looked at them so filled with grief.
“What’s wrong with you? You have no fun?
She keeps us young and filled with mirth.
A loving friend is an amazing gift.”
He and She had a wonderful life.